by Nick Gisburne
With a knife I must sever my brain
And with this you will know I am sane
Driven once through each ear
It will free me from fear
And I think I will relish the pain
There are fish in the front of the van
And they’re driving as fast as they can
They have taken a breath
To escape from their death
In the hazardous heat of the pan
When the Empress of Evil was four
She discovered a corpse on the floor
But the rumours soon spread
That she cut off the head
And was clapping and calling for more
See the pandas eat pancakes in bed
As they study their plans for a shed
Though they’re black and they’re white
They’re upholding their right
For a palace in purple or red
At the edge of fermentable space
Lives a rakish, bohemian race
With their seven mile suits
And tyrannosaur boots
No designer can keep up the pace
In the shadows there shivered a mouse
Who had recently purchased a house
When he found but a hole
In a cellar of coal
He was quickly disowned by his spouse
In the tourney a bachelor knight
Found his armour was overly tight
Though he won the maid’s heart
It constricted his part
So their chances for jousting were slight
Said the girl with the dangerous eyes
“You’re the arrogant scum I despise
In your efforts to breed
You will never succeed
But for bullshit this finger’s the prize”
It erupts from the damnable deeps
To devour her dreams as she sleeps
But at midnight she wakes
As her sanity breaks
From the window, still screaming, she leaps
On the shores of an amethyst ocean
I partake of a decadent potion
Through its visions I gaze
On the end of all days
And to darkness I give my devotion
