by Nick Gisburne
The Three Little Pigs
Three pigs, three houses
Huffing and puffing is hard
Try a bulldozer
Rumpelstiltskin
He will steal her child
Unless she can guess his name
Or chop his balls off
Little Red Riding Hood
Grandma shops online
No need for Red to visit
Wolf’s back on dog food
Rapunzel
What long hair you have
Let me climb it to reach you
No! Use the ladder!
Cinderella
The glass slipper fits
But the prince is still unsure
Try the bikini
The Ugly Duckling
How ugly I am!
How I long to be a swan
Tough. You’re an emu
Jack and the Beanstalk
Brings home magic beans
Gets the welcome he deserves
Mother’s magic fist
The Frog Prince
Kiss me! Marry me!
Frogs kiss better than princes
My tongue is massive
The Princess and the Pea
I won’t change my mind
I’m not sleeping in that bed
Someone’s peed in it
Sleeping Beauty
A hundred-year sleep
She wakes to find him naked
That was not a kiss
