Thursday 28 January 2021

Government Guidelines: The Breeding Box

by Nick Gisburne

Your allocated partner was returned
A suitable replacement has been found
No further mate selections may be spurned
Our methods and criteria are sound
Although your body index score is six
We need to clear a surplus stock of threes
The subject has genetic facial tics
But falls below the median for fleas
Your breeding box is sterilised for use
Generic pills and lotions are supplied
The absence of desire is no excuse
Complete your impregnation task with pride
    If any fluids fail to find a hole
    Divert them to the public protein bowl