by Nick Gisburne
The child and the kidnapper went to sea
In a hideous, blood-stained boat
The plan was vicious, a crime so delicious
Described in a ransom note
The child looked into his captor’s grin
And coughed at the man’s cigar
“Don’t hurt me mister! Oh mister, please don’t!
What a terrible robber you are
You are
You are!
What a terrible robber you are!”
He replied to the boy, “This gun is no toy!
Don’t move, or I’ll beat you so hard!”
He stroked the Beretta and pulled out a letter
(It wouldn’t all fit on a card)
“The boy for the money, and do nothing funny
Or into the water he goes
Old notes in a sack, you’ll get him straight back
Any cops and I’ll cut off his toes
His toes
His toes!
Any cops and I’ll cut off his toes!”
“But sir,” said the nipper, “I know you’re the skipper
The person I fear now the most
But so far out to sea, please explain this to me
How that letter of ransom you’ll post”
The man went bright red and slapped his own head
And he turned the old boat back to shore
And (not quite as planned) he would very soon stand
In a prison, behind a steel door
Steel door
Steel door
In a prison, behind a steel door
