Sunday 8 May 2011

Eradicating Weakness

Yesterday, almost certainly because my sleeping was interrupted (I had to set the alarm clock to be up early), I wrote very little, and what I did write was absolute rubbish! I'm currently between two major events in the story, and the connecting piece I'm trying to put together was so lightweight and wishy-washy that I almost wondered if I'd actually written it with a different brain. It was particularly disappointing given that I'd only just posted a relentlessly grim video, showing my 'disturbing influences'. Why I then descended into miserable mediocrity is anyone's guess.

Needless to say, today everything will be ruthlessly hammered into shape. I've set myself very high standards with this piece of work, and I won't let them slip, even for a relatively minor piece of the plot.

Sample 'weak' lines written yesterday:
Thus, in generations numbered by the histories of men,
I saw nations rise and flourish, march to war and fall again.
And their replacements (subject to any further changes and improvements), written today:
Thus, in generations chronicled by histories of lust,
Savage nations, once triumphant, fell to slaughter, burned to dust.
'Numbered' = weaker than 'chronicled'
'Histories of men' = weaker than 'histories of lust'
'I saw nations' = weaker than 'savage nations'
'Flourish' = weaker than 'triumphant'
'March to war' = weaker than 'fell to slaughter'
'Fall again' = weaker than 'burned to dust'

Those are just two vastly improved lines. In this poem I don't do weak!