Tuesday 31 March 2020

Government Guidelines: Efficient Intercourse

by Nick Gisburne

The optimal position for your sex
Is sometimes rather difficult to find
The knees, if planted wrongly, may perplex
Please note their place correctly for the grind
The pumping apparatus of a man
Requires the space to wriggle, firm but free
Please curl the lower portions if you can
And tame the urge to panic or to flee
Permission, if provided, for the kneel
May now produce a bolder breathing rate
Be wary of a troubled warning squeal
One badly guided thrust may heighten hate
    If private parts should fail or misalign
    For further details turn to section nine